Jokes I'd like to share!

haha well since i haven't updated for soo long, i shall update with some jokes that i actually get:

A teacher is drilling her young students. "Give me a sentence about a public servant," she said. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Do you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

What would you get if you crossed a kangaroo and an elephant?
Huge holes all over Australia

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?"
The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."

In a small town, there was a big factory that hired only married men. Upset, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous or what?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders and have learned to keep their mouths shut when I yell at them."

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."